Sampling Life

When I was young my father talked me into trying raw hamburger; shaped into a small ball; dowsed heavily with salt. I thought it tasted divine. Later when alone I tried raw bacon. Then my mom found out, and informed me that doing so could result in a worm growing inside my intestines. I stopped immediately, then spent the next year worrying there was a worm growing inside my intestines.

My brother once sampled a Milk Bone dog biscuit. I think it was green. Maybe not - but if it had been me, I would’ve tried the green one. I knew a girl in kindergarden who sampled crayons. I never ate crayons but I did give paper a try. I’ve given many things a try since, some resulted in things I will never live without - others, I hope to never try again. I remember the day my father taught me how to ride my first minibike. I was scared out of my mind, convinced I couldn’t do it. Once off and rolling, I didn't want to stop. And to this day I feel more comfortable on my Harley than in a car.

I remember the day I first tried a Krispy Kreme doughnut. It was the same day I married my ex husband. Looking back, that doughnut was the best thing that happened that day. Some things in life take no courage what-so-ever to try, other things take a level of inner strength we aren’t even sure we possess. That’s why we often refrain from pushing ourselves into new territory. At least I do. After ten years spent in a bad marriage with someone who told lies spanning from the benign to the malignant, I lost all courage to give love a try. Love requires trust, and trust is something I hardly feel strong enough to attempt.

A few months back I fell unintentionally in love, but from there I've had to find the strength to move forward and work towards trust. I can’t say I’ve gotten there. Regardless of what ultimately comes of that relationship, I don’t regret having loved, and having tried. Life is about living, sampling life, and finding the courage to do what - out of fear - we've prevented ourselves from experiencing. I don’t want to live a life imprisoned within the walls of fear. There is enormous risk in opening oneself up to new things - love, career changes, moving, fulfilling one’s dreams - these are all things that hold no guarantee of success. And yet, if success is ever to be experienced, one has to give it a try. We will never know, not only life’s full potential - but our full potential - unless we try.

Sane