Fresh Air

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There were two main streams of thought that flowed through my home when I was young: don’t get too happy because disappointment isn’t far away, and everything that's been prayed for sits always out of reach.

These were the ardent beliefs of my parents and thus became the feelings of everyone else in the household. And thus, I have lived my life never fully able to exhale. When a good moment rolls around, I acknowledge it, but rarely let my guard down and enjoy it - as surely once I do, disappointment will ambush me. Or so I’ve been raised to believe. Over the last few years I have chosen to reshape my world, my mind, and my heart. I now try to live in the present and allow the present to be whatever it appears to be - good, bad or otherwise. Not because I’m a spiritual guru, but because it occurred to me one day that life is simply a series of these little ‘now’ moments.

I haven’t fully mastered this yet, but I’m trying. Those maladjusted beliefs from my youth were the beliefs of my parents, I was only a child and like second hand smoke accidentally inhaled their beliefs and made them my own. But if asked I would have said then, as I’d say now, I don’t want those beliefs. I really would rather be happy, even if for only a day.

So this journey of shaping my own world, shaping my own mind is much of what I write about. It is amazing how the influences of others have so greatly impacted our lives. Unintentionally or intentionally, their hands and beliefs can mold our world long after their touch is gone.

Disappointment may still find us, as it does everyone, but why be expectant of its arrival. Let it surprise us. We can deal with it, if and when it arrives - there is no need to deal with it any sooner. Either way, when a happy moment is before us, breathe it in and enjoy it for as long as it lasts. No good comes from being pensive and anxious while waiting for life to become unfettered. We could very well croak on the eve of that unfettered day, having waisted all the days that led up to that moment. To the best that we can, take in life’s beauty, absorb life for what it’s offering in the moment, and relish each day - because truthfully - sometimes it is our last. So make it a good one. And if I haven’t said it before - thank you for joining me today.

Sane