Grey Areas

Aging: the natural process to which all things surrender immediately upon existence. When it comes to humans however, this thing that we’ve been busy doing since birth, has spawned a billion dollar industry and almost as many insecurities. 

It takes a very grounded individual to see aging as the positive, beautiful, natural process that it is. There are days when I am that grounded person. Admittedly, there are days when I’m not. And on those days let's just say: I could easily scream like a baby.

Women are innately drawn to more than outward appearances. Quality, substance, intelligence, humor. Those are just four, of the many things, that can open a woman’s heart to another. We tend to see beyond what is on the outside. That isn’t to say we don’t appreciate appealing looks. Its just, we use a different perspective when making that judgement call. Men, on the other hand, are visual. They tend to be drawn to what’s on the outside. The good ones want what’s on the inside to be similarly stimulating - but for many - its not a requirement. Men have evolved, just as much as women. Yet, fundamentally this fact remains. I don’t fault men this, any more than I fault women their instinctual tendencies. Knowing this though, as we do, makes things a bit tricky for women while we do what all things do - age. Even though our partner may lose hair faster than a bad poker player loses money, our attraction remains. As long as the person on the inside remains. 

There will come a time, not too terribly long from now, when my silver strands outnumber my red, a bra is no longer optional and I find myself standing in the middle of a grocery store aisle dazed; trying to remember what was wrote down on the grocery list left sitting on my kitchen counter. Oh wait - I'm already intimately familiar with such things. My point is, while those things are becoming the new norm, I don't want to feel less than. As my partner ages, I only want to appreciate how he has changed over time and feel love for the person that is sharing my now; regardless of whether there's more hair on his back than on his head. We all deserve quality. Quality food, quality surroundings, a quality career and damn straight we deserve a quality partner; one that’s view is colored by love. And when seeing through those eyes, both tend to behold their partner as the most beautiful thing they've ever seen. Both like what’s on the outside because its merely the covering that's wrapped around what’s on the inside, and that inside person cherishes the other; would and most likely has, walked through fire for the other. And secretly hopes to die first for never wanting to spend a day not waking by the other's side. 

I believe such quality people exist. I know good men exist. My brother is one. But whether that wonderful person finds me one day or not, I will do my best to see myself as beautiful. Not because of my appearance, but because of who I am. I'm so far from perfect it isn't even funny. Yet I will never settle for less than quality love; the kind that colors each of us in a beautiful light. 

Sane