Don't Hold Back

There is a saying: for one to enter this world, another must leave. These words have been heavy on my mind for the latter part of today.

Someone very dear to me lost their sibling this morning; a life cut short, far before its time. And yet, within days, this same dear person will be holding within his arms a new grandchild; a life ready to be lived.

It is in that circle of life that my thoughts have been hovering since I received the news. My friend is in great pain. In many ways, I feel his pain. Death is a fact of life first grappled with when young and usually on the mild level of discovering a belly-up fish, then later the emotions sting harder when laying to rest the family dog or cat. At one point we lose a grandparent and struggle to understand what it all means. As we age, we begin to feel the loss on a grander scale, and with that our awareness changes.

I don’t believe we can ever fully prepare ourselves for the moment when someone we know and love vanishes from this world. My father, who passed away last summer, wanted desperately for his life to end. Yet when it did, I was left with enormous sadness mixed with relief for him. This same blend of emotions accompanies every thought I have of my father. And although I know he is happy and free, I still cry.

The ever present fusion of life and death rarely escapes my attention. I wonder if I am the only one that has stood quietly at a memorial gathering and watched the young children chase one another outside or squirm with bustling life while being told to remain still in their seat. There is always a mixture of life and death wherever we go. Of course when we age, death becomes a bit more palpable. Our eyes accidentally focus on the many we have lost instead of the many we have gained.

There is much I do not know about life, but I do know this: although death is present, felt and seen - so is life, only more so. And while here, we need to live each day to its fullest. Don’t hold back.

Sane