I filed for divorce on December 1, 2009. Today, years later, I’m again revisiting the courthouse in hopes of obtaining that which I asked for, so long ago.
But like last week, and the many times before when I tried to bring closure to this dreadful experience, I question if today will be met with another delay or monkey wrench; thrown, in an effort to keep the divorce chugging along. The legal system, especially attorneys, make money from monkey wrenches and loopholes. And many a guilty defendant uses the holes within the system as their safety net.
Why, you ask, does the defendant keep us on this merry-go-round; because it keeps his $11,310.84 in unpaid child support in limbo. And the prosecuting attorney is waiting for the divorce to be finalized before treating it as the felony that it is. Mine - is a cautionary tale. I believe it is important to end any relationship that is not based on love, mutual respect and honesty. Often, ending it is a must - but do so with caution and open eyes.
Living under the same roof with someone who doesn’t love you, is a very unsettling experience. I believe, when this happens, we owe it to ourselves to make the break. When I asked for a divorce, I only knew a fraction of what I now know about my husband’s infidelity, lies and overall ill behavior. I started the divorce process believing, at the very least, that we were friends. I wanted only success for him in life and with his future relationships. What I came to discover, and want you to know is: how someone behaves during the divorce is, very likely, how they were behaving during the marriage; only, during the marriage those actions were hidden from view.
I believe in marriage. I believe in the beautiful union of two people that love one another. But like with most things, there is the genuine article and then there is the falsely advertised, imitation. Getting one’s hands on the real deal is divine, living with the imitation is hell.
My husband’s success at evading child support and dragging out this divorce is only made possible by the legal system. Your rights and those of your children, are a vague concept inside the the courthouse walls. Those sitting on the outside, tend to believe things are a bit more cut and dried. How it should be, and how it is however, aren't always one in the same. Please know that there is no greater display of illegal conduct than that done within our legal system.
Life is about living. One cannot live a healthy life when they are ingesting toxic substances, or surrounded by toxic people. Removing the toxicity is often very scary - but don’t let that stand in your way. Whether you are fighting cancer in your body or cancer in your life - don’t give up. For the most part, I view this particular cancer as being gone from my life. I don't view these trips to the courthouse with the rapid heart beat and trepidation I once did. It'll end, but my life is already much healthier. And it will only getting better from here.
In closing: I will, I hope, write with a bit more humor tomorrow. To those that have graciously left comments on my blog, please know that I can’t seem to find a way to personally respond. And to everyone that faithfully reads my blog, whether commenting or not, I value you, each and every one. Please forward my blog on to others. And know that your continued support has been my medicine while I strive to remove the toxicity from my life.
Sane
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