Now in addition to the multitude of threats already before me, both ethereal and tangible, legitimate and illegitimate, I’ve learned that something bad will happen to me if I don’t forward on to at least ten people, the prayer that was emailed to me this morning. Something about that - doesn't sound quite right.
On the upside, if I forward this prayer of well wishes, then good fortune will find me; and it will find me tomorrow at 4:35pm (just like it did for that man needing a job in New Jersey, and that woman in Altoona who, unexpectedly, heard from her long lost child after years of separation). After zeroing in on these fortune telling sentences mingled within the loving paragraphs of this email, I stare at my computer screen with a cringed face, and eye the message dubiously.
I also begin to wonder why these foreboding instructions are shared within the first couple lines of the email, and why is it imperative that I read "all the way to bottom." I’m even told I will be happy that I did. I quickly spin the roller ball on my mouse; instantly bringing the conclusion of the email onto my screen.
I never doubt the intentions of the one that sent the email; as I only open emails from close friends, and their motives are genuine and sincere. But I do question the ominous warnings within the email. Oftentimes, when I choose to forward the well wishes, I cut out, not only all the names and addresses of those who have received it before me, but the gloomy sentences as well - perhaps in doing so, altering the wheels of the universe (or so they want me to believe).
Either way, I have to wonder why these messages have taken on this threatening tone. The poems of love, hope for good fortune and spiritual prayers are never met with my disapproval. In fact, I enjoy them, each one. But what about those caveats? Who wrote them, and more importantly – why?
I can’t say I’ve ever received something similar with snail mail. Never once have I opened a greeting card, and after reading the neat and tidy little poem or wonderful words that wish me health and happiness did it conclude by saying: If you pass this on to one friend, you’re wishes will come true in a week. If you pass this on to five friends, you’re wishes will come true in three days… Nor has it ever stated: If you choose to keep this to yourself, something bad will happen.
There have been times when I’m promised a surprise in the form of something lively and entertaining appearing on my screen if I forward the message. Never once has this ever happened.
On a side note, I also have to question why those (whether robotic or human), sending spam messages, don’t take the time to ensure proper grammar. I don’t mean the trivial typos we all make. I mean the level of spelling errors that make the subject line almost ineligible. I say almost as I can still tell (and quite quickly), what they are trying to sell. It strikes me as especially odd that a person would order erectile dysfunction medication from a site that can’t spell and uses capitalization with wild abandoned. If the same lack of concern in the email, is used in the product, then heaven help the poor fellow that kicks back a few of their pills. God only knows what will happen to him.
Sane
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