Most of us, when conjuring a dream for ourselves, rarely do so without the dream being tethered. We place boundaries around our thoughts because we are frequently reminded of the boundaries around our lives. But what I would like to know is: if you were to cut every last rope that tied you to the ground, what would that dream be?
Once these dreams have been formed, I suggest that you keep them safely tucked inside your mind and heart. When voiced, they are often met with opinions that remind us of all the many reasons why that particular dream can’t and won’t be possible. And that’s sad. Some things I take to the tribe (my close network of friends), and some things I don’t, for good reason. The tribe may embrace the thought, but shortly thereafter feel the need to enlighten me as to the dreams improbability or worse, its impossibility. Sadly, their chatter causes me to question the very thing that previously felt entirely possible and filled me with a great deal of purpose and happiness. Their voices are hard to silence, and their words are nearly impossible to remove from the psyche. Therefore, approach the tribe with caution.
Also, it strikes me as a bit disappointing that when someone expresses their dream, usually done so with enthusiasm and joy, the recipient widens their eyes at the (seemingly), grandiose vision their friend has. And yet, what are dreams if not blue prints for a possible future? Life will surely enough alter the dream along the way, in addition to the inadvertent altering caused by our own skepticism and disbelief in its success. You’ll know a friend by the way they (if you choose to share it), embrace or curtail the dream.
If the vision requires that you reach quite high into the sky, a true friend offers their shoulders for you to climb upon. I have a few such friends. One in particular, has never once grabbed hold of my dream and tried to harness it to the ground. Instead, she provides a lift to help keep me up where I want to be until I am able to sustain myself solely on my own.
Surprisingly, some people choose to tether us regarding the most simple of things. I commented once that I would love to never set eyes on my children’s father again. This comment makes sense considering the enormous pain and hardship he has caused. But the one with whom I was talking, quite quickly and equally quite unnecessarily added, “Well that’s impossible until your daughter is much, much older.” It seems there are those that want to restrict even our venting. Venting is crucial to good health. It’s a verbal release of toxins. So if you are ever on the other end of a friend’s vent, give them a safe place to dump their toxic energy and thoughts. I may be wrong, but I doubt highly they will need to be reminded that they have children or that they have certain conditions that may stand in the way.
Over the course of the last three years, I have met with a great deal of instruction concerning my own dreams, tethers fastened tightly onto my dreams, and full-on holes shot into the delicate balloon containing my dreams. Some of this damage has hurt immensely and caused the loss of a friend or two. But it also has revealed the difference between those that believe in me, regardless of what I pursue, and those that want to keep me held within a small box…that they created; a box that has little to do with me, and more to do with them. It is difficult, after being repeatedly reminded of our own limitations and inability to fly, to then spread our wings and step off the ledge. Or at least I find it difficult. Not long ago a friend of mine was struggling with his future and asked for my advice. I responded, “Have the courage, and take the time, to create within your mind the life you want for yourself…then tell no one. Keep it held privately and safely inside. But in all of your efforts, move in the direction of that life.”
Whether that dream consists of moving to a new state on the map, a new state of mind or a new state of being – cut the rope - and move in that direction.
Sane
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