Somewhere in the Middle

Tired and eager to put an end to the day, I slid into bed the other night, ready to close my eyes while the TV whispered in the background. Undertaking my usual pre-sleep rituals, I realized that even though I had been sleeping alone for well over two and half years, I was still sleeping in the same one third section of the bed that I had always occupied during my nighttime hours. Glancing to my right, my eyes scanned the other two thirds of the bed.

Deciding not to be wasteful, I endeavored to claim full ownership of this most sacred, unused space. Having survived a deplorable two year divorce, one that doesn’t seem to want to end, I have without a doubt earned this rite of passage, this prime slumber real estate. With that thought in mind, I slithered into my new spot, and threw the extra pillows onto the floor. Lying there, I did what any other mature adult would do – I fanned my arms and legs back and forth, as if making a snow angel. This is nice, I say to myself, this is very nice.

But as I clumsily removed myself from this oasis of tranquility throughout the night, I began to have second thoughts. Yes, I have earned the right to sleep like a Queen in the middle of the bed, but the scampering in and out was getting a bit tiring. Like a turtle that’s had the misfortune of finding itself shell side down, every time I had to get out of bed, I could no longer merely launch my legs over the edge of the bed. Instead, a procedure needed to take place. One in which I flopped like a fish out of water, hoping that with every flop I landed closer to the edge. Once there, I was good.

I have a feeling that before too long, I will be moving back from whence I came. Of course, there is the option of moving, “to the other side.” The view from over there isn’t as nice, but being closer to the bathroom does have its advantages. However, that is the side my ex used to occupy. There is a part of me, albeit a childish part, that would just as soon take a chain saw and buzz off that side of the bed. In the process, removing any rogue cooties that may still be there.  I’ll have to think about it. But for now, I think I’ll simply try to master the middle.

Sane