Sitting in the courtroom I watched the Judge get increasingly more irritated with the opposing counsel. Her declarations were the same false statements she used while devising the court motion that brought us there – nothing new. I will say though, that it feels odd to sit silently, while someone spews falsehoods about one’s life. “She paid all of the groceries for the children out of the business account!” the opposing counsel boomed, “She paid all of the ballet expenses out of the business account!” These peculiar declarations went on for so long, the Judge had to finally stop her. Long story short, after my attorney stated, that not only were the claims of the opposing counsel untrue, but that I had every right to use whatever means available to support my children, the Judge had no choice but to order an evidentiary hearing.
At that hearing, I plan to roll into the parking lot, with my jeep weighed down with banker boxes filled with evidence that, not only substantiates my claims, but shows that the opposing counsel was attempting to intentionally mislead the judge.
Oddly though, during her long diatribe wherein she tried to villainize me, she never once mentioned how her client, for the last year and a half, had ignored his court ordered obligation to pay child support. I wonder why she didn’t want to mention it. That total, of unpaid child support, now stands at $12,160.87. The full amount my children have received from their father over the course of the last year and half now stands at $236.13.
Maybe I am a villain. Maybe she is right. Because during that year and a half in which he chose not to pay any child support, I continued to pay for his health insurance, his two life insurance policies and his son’s (not my son, his son’s) college investment fund; all of which were paid for out of my personal checking. If that constitutes a villainous act, I would hate to think how she would classify someone who heinously neglects his children's financial needs. Oh wait, that person is her client - never mind. So yes, at times, I had no money left to pay for groceries or other basic needs. I did, what any other responsible parent would do, I used whatever means were at my disposal: the business checking account. The same business that was built by money given to me from my family, and by mortgaging property I owned free and clear prior to the marriage. Let me paint a crisper picture: between my family and myself, I contributed $299,000 into the business, my estranged husband contributed zero.
And, being the slightly Type A individual I am, I have every shred of evidence to prove all the expenses that I paid, for the last year and half, that solely benefited my estranged husband. And I have every shred of evidence that proves every last dollar, of mine, that was invested into the business. I have every bank statement that shows that no other funds, except those I contributed and revenue generated by the business, built the business. So now, the question is, do I have that evidence framed and matted or do I just beat the tar out of him with it and shove it down his meticulously and overtly shaven face?
At the end of the day, what does my evidence prove: for a year and a half, I went above and beyond meeting my obligations, and by doing so, drained my personal funds to the extent that I had to tap into the equity I owned (solely), in the business. Proven, proven and further proven. I even have the canceled check from the Daddy Daughter dance tickets I purchased for my daughter and her father; paid for out of my personal checking. He’s a bum and she wanted to attend, so I took her worries away by paying for their ticket. It may sound like a small deed, and financially it was – but it was large in the scope of my steadfast obligation toward my children, both financial and emotional.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a saint and I’m far from being Mother Teressa. I want him in jail. If he dies tomorrow – I won’t cry. I understand, that may sound harsh, but that is how I feel after this last twenty-seven months since, with help from the police, I had him removed from our home. I have discussed my rather hardened feelings towards this man with God. And we’re good. I will only busy myself with this issue, temporarily. Later today I have to take my son for his six month MRI scan and oncology check up. Today, as with every day, I am required to deal with real life and real issues. I will do all that is required of me as their parent – the same as I always have.
Yes, this evidentiary hearing is another hoop, through which I must jump. But in many ways, I don’t mind. I can’t say I will be there with bells on – but I can say – I will be there rapping loudly on a cowbell or two.
Sane
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