Keeping Me Sane

I don’t mean to be a wet blanket. I really don’t. However, with every passing day, I am every more convinced that as a species – we are doomed. Were we always doomed, and I just never realized it? When I was young, the future seemed bright. Maybe not so bright as to require the wearing of shades, but at the very least it appeared promising. The chocolate milk and donuts I inhaled while watching Saturday morning cartoons might have enhanced this sugary outlook.

Today as I look out the window, my eyes scanning the spectacular vista of rural country life, I’m forced to wonder how things will ultimately play out. Corruption sits at the heart of all that we rely upon: our environment, our food, our government. Will the few rise-up as so many predict? Will they achieve their goal? If so, what is that goal?

As idealistic as it may sound, my goal is that all people are treated fairly, humanely and allowed to live as they choose and do so safely. I don’t live in that world. I’m caught in a web of corruption that makes my head hurt. One of the most corrupt institutions I have ever experienced is that of our own legal system.

Not only is our environment and quality of life decaying before our eyes, but mankind is as well. My children have a parent that would sooner see them go hungry than provide money to help feed them. Days ago I had two bottom dwellers steal lawn chairs, extension cords and other various odds and ends from my property on an otherwise perfect, sunny Saturday afternoon. Pulled in, filled up their mini van and drove off. I followed them, pinned their car to the side of the road, and roared at them with a voice I'd never heard before. They returned the various items. They also tried to offer an apology. Apparently, according to their explanation, they were trying to feed their children by stealing my lawn chairs. In that moment, there was a parchment paper thin barrier restraining me from running over their useless bodies with my Jeep. Sounds mean doesn’t it? It’s the truth of how I felt though. I’m tired of being used and abused. There was a day when people struggled to lie. Now, it flows from mouths easier than air. What happened?

I’m now testing various revolvers and semi automatic pistols. I’m also finding a great deal of joy in it. I’m not finding a great deal of joy in the revelation that many of us need to have this form of protection. My house was broken into two years ago. I have a full surveillance system now. They say life is what you believe it to be. I’m trying ardently to believe it is something better than what it appears. There are good people out there; I know many of them by name. But do they outnumber the corrupt?

I don’t believe in the same heaven and hell so many believe in. I believe both of these places are felt and experienced during our lifetime – right here, on good old planet earth. Hell is hearing a brain surgeon tell you your eleven year old son has a malignant brain tumor. Heaven is hearing the oncologist say, six years later, that his scans still show no signs of cancer. I doubt this blog will receive the views my funnier blogs do. And that is fine. Oddly enough - these feelings are the one's that turn my eye and mind to the lighter side of life I enjoy writing about. The part of life that sits peacefully and gently between heaven and hell.

I require no one to believe what I believe. And I harbor no ill will for the differences of opinion we all share. I go weeks without watching the news. I don’t have any answers as to how we will fix the many problems eroding our bodies and our planet. I do know this, if we at the very least treated others as we wanted to be treated, this planet would spend its final days as a  much nicer place. I like how it feels when I treat people well. When I bring a smile to someone’s face, I bring a smile to my own. There is a piece of heaven in that. 

Sane